Strongholds

My Aunt placed her hand over my eyes and tried to silence me, as she began pulling me away.

I became frustrated and could feel my emotions arising. I looked over at my cousin, her daughter, who was snickering and shaking her head, proclaiming, "That's not true. I'll tell you what happened." I fought myself out from the hold she had on me and shouted with tears streaming down, "that's the problem with this family; they never let anyone express how they truly feel." 

I opened my eyes, drenched in sweat, and it was just a dream. But was it? If you are not aware, God speaks to us in dreams. Job 33:14-15 says, For God speaks again and again, though people do not recognize it. He speaks in dreams, in visions of the night when deep sleep falls on the people as they lie in their beds. 

Evanah Respes

Time and time again, I have had a countless amount of dreams about my father's side of the family. I pondered on what God was trying to reveal to me and soon learned that my father's family had placed a spiritual stronghold over me, the fear of isolation. 

A spiritual stronghold is a consistent pattern of thought, built into one's mind that creates inner captivity to deception and misery. A stronghold keeps you from accepting the truth and receiving deliverance. For an unbeliever, it appears as not hearing the good news. However, for a believer, it seems as not hearing the fullness of the good news. So, what does that mean for me, you ask? If I can be honest, it means that I hear the good news as a believer, but due to the stronghold I previously mentioned, it does not thoroughly saturate into my whole being.

What I learned growing up caused this. My paternal grandfather was a Rabbi. He grew up with his mother teaching and instilling into him that the Holy Bible was not his "book." He was taught he was a Hebrew and that Jesus was not his God. At the age of 28, he had a supernatural experience and heard a voice say, "seek God." From there, he began studying the Torah and learning Hebrew. A few years later, with my grandmother and their children, he moved from Philly to Jersey and built a community of five homes for his family and others, whom he began teaching as well. With all my grandfather's self-taught knowledge and his accomplishment of becoming a Rabbi, it was continuously instilled into us growing up that we are different because we are black Jews. It was essential to know who we are—instructed to study and understand the Torah and reject anything that conflicted its teaching, especially if it included Jesus.

However, due to the pregnancy with my oldest daughter, ten years ago, I stepped out on faith and left a life of comfort of what I knew.

I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior.

However, for eight years, I struggled with genuinely confessing my belief in Jesus. I had support from my siblings and mother, but no one could share in this walk as my mother was born and raised a Christian, and my siblings still live under the law. Once family members speculated, they tormented me because of it, which further led me to crawl back into the stronghold of comfort. So, while my faith had carried me this far, it was merely not enough anymore because there was no digestion taking place within me. Listening to sermons, relying on specific scriptures, and having others pour into me was not all he intended for me to receive to grow in my relationship with him. It also was not enough to release the stronghold over me. His intentions for me included a life of freedom and experiencing his love, grace, and mercy in fullness.

He has even shown me where the fear has shown up in other areas of my life. Different groups I am associated with, I will have a suspicion that no one is supporting me or rather a doubt that I am not liked or fitting in. I've wanted recognition for all things good vs. being noticed for what "seems" wrong. Yet, as I look back over my life, there are seasons of isolation, which tells me that God has been preparing me for this to stand alone. I need to stand in the Godfidence he has given me to do so.

So how do I tear down the stronghold? I allow God's light to shine in the darkness by exposing it.

I come to him with an open heart, acknowledging it, and then I repent of it. James 4:7 reminds me to submit myself to God, resisting the enemy, and he will flee from me. It is the work of the enemy to keep my mind held captive. Sometimes if the strongholds hold forceful strength, we must know when to cut off their surviving resources. So, for me, it appeared in the way of protecting my peace and loving family from a distance. I no longer gave them access to me, so that meant removing them from all forms of communication and not engaging with them at all. Besides, I need to remain obedient to whatever God is instructing me to do to overcome. So far, it has been in the way of sharing my testimony of salvation and the healing of my daughter through my book that I published last year. God is going to make sure that I not only profess my faith but that my testimony glorifies Him. As I grow in my faith and spirit, with the power that God has graciously given, the stronghold weakens. As I surround it with promises of acceptance from Abba, the knowledge of his love, and the victory of the resurrection, the stronghold reduces. As I offer up praise and thanksgiving, while surrendering myself at his throne, God will bring me through to deliverance. Prayer and praise are powerful tools, along with the word of God. 

So, my prayer and hope are that by openly sharing my battle and how I am continuously working to overcome, it will encourage you to expose your strongholds and teach you how to fight through them. 

 For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God and take every thought captive to obey Christ 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 ESV

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