Are You Being Accountable?

When you start to follow Christ, and you start studying, learning what God's moral standard is for your life, you start to feel convicted about the things that need to change.

Even though you know change is necessary to ensure that you resemble Christ, being in our flesh makes this difficult. This is why it is vital to walk alongside others. I remember having my very first accountability partner. She cared so much about my walk and being alongside me on this journey. She would study with me, pray with me, worship with me, and even introduce me to a like-minded community. I was dating my now-husband, and I was abstinent for about a year before him, and I decided to get serious. My goal was to remain abstinent until marriage. At that time, I was still a babe in Christ. So, I wasn't mature enough to know to put boundaries in place so that I wouldn't be tempted to have sex. Dating when you're in the world is a lot different than when you are not. Whenever she and I would talk, she would ask about the boundaries she knew I should have in place and didn't. I didn't get why she felt this way, I thought she was just being an overbearing friend. I wanted to do what I wanted to do and not have to answer to anyone. She, on the other hand, didn't want me to willingly fall into sin.

See whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him, it is a sin James 4:17. 

I clearly didn't know the meaning nor the reason for accountability in my walk. Accountability is necessary for growth. Accountability means a person required to justify actions or decisions. Something I was not willing to do. I should've been answering to my friend regarding the decisions I made that went against the Word of God. I, however, didn't want to answer to anyone, especially not to a peer. Who did she think she was questioning me about what I chose to do with MY life? I quickly realized what not having boundaries in place would lead to when not having anyone hold you accountable. Me and my boyfriend started spending nights together. With no boundaries in place we started embracing, hugging, and kissing each other aftehours. This of course led to other things. Let’s be real, those other things were sex and lust.

I was ashamed to admit my sin to my friend, and I was ashamed to face God.

As if He didn't know everything anyway. I kept ignoring that feeling of conviction and got comfortable in my sin. I started hiding from the one person I had that cared about my soul enough to call me out on my actions or lack thereof. I also stopped spending time with God. That took me down a path that caused a lot of spiritual damage that I am still fixing with the help of the Lord.

Without anyone to hold me accountable, without community, I got so far away from God and started doing things that did not resemble His character.

I even started to self-medicate with marijuana and alcohol as I went through troubling times. I felt it took my mind off my issues and allowed me to loosen up and have fun without the weight of the world on my shoulders. Even though I still woke up with those same problems. This wasn’t the first time I resorted to this behavior either. Then, one night changed the course of my life. Something meant to kill me course corrected me. I remember getting so drunk at a party. At the end of the night, I took a nap on the way to my friend's house where my car was parked, and I decided I was sober enough to drive myself home. Not one of my smartest decisions. Even though I felt like I was sobering up, it was way past the time that I would typically be sleep. I didn't want to spend the night at my friend's house, so I decided to drive. On the highway, to my house, I fell asleep at the wheel and woke up because my car started shaking uncontrollably. I drove through some debris from construction and blew two tires. I pulled over to call my boyfriend to come to get me. As I sat on the side of the road, an officer pulled over to check on me, and I ended up in jail. I was charged with reckless driving, had to take DUI classes, periodic drug tests, and put on probation for a year. I was embarrassed and ashamed of myself, to say the least.

That night I could've died or killed someone else.

It made me realize how far away from God I had gone. Even then, I was still running away from Him. I fell into a deep depression that no one could see. I remember being at home with my family and locking myself in the bathroom for hours. I laid on the floor with the shower running, and it felt like the walls were closing in on me. I needed help and didn't want to tell anyone. All I could do was call on Jesus, and I asked God to come back into my life. I slowly calmed down and decided I would get my life together. I decided I wouldn't let this near-death accident nor my bad life choices cripple me, but I would let it remind me that God had given me another chance to make things right. I called that same friend and apologized to her for not seeing her for who she was in my life, and we started to build back on our relationship. This time around, I embraced who she was in my life. She was married now, so we didn't spend as much time as we did before, but we were still there for each other. I realized God calls us to be accountable, and we will have to give an account for our life Romans 14:12. This isn't to hurt us but to protect us.  

Galatians 6:1-5 Brothers and sisters, someone in your group might do something wrong. You who are following the Spirit should go to the one who is sinning. Help make that person right again, and do it in a gentle way. But be careful, because you might be tempted to sin too. Help each other with your troubles. When you do this, you are obeying the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to do this, you are only fooling yourself. Don't compare yourself with others. Just look at your own work to see if you have done anything to be proud of. You must each accept the responsibilities that are yours.

 When we confess our sins to each other and pray for one another, we bring healing into the situation James 5:16. Holding each other accountable is not meant for us to condemn one another but to encourage and build each other up to be more like Christ 1 Thessalonians 5:11. I will always stress that we were not meant to do this walk alone, and scripture supports that.

 If you do not have accountability partners pray that God partners you with one or more. Also, make sure you are ready to receive them. Study what accountability really means by definition and based on what scripture says. I want to see you win! We cannot just say we are Christians without resembling Christ; accountability partners help us to do that. 

 Let me know your thoughts below on accountability. Is this something you have struggled with? How did you overcome it? Or, if you are still struggling with it, what are some reasons why? 

 You can also email me at lojette@lojayscorner.com to join my #commUNITY.